The Latest Craze – Grandparent Alienation Syndrome

A new form of family estrangement is becoming an epidemic, and many people are unaware of its existence. Grandparent Alienation a.k.a. Grandparent Alienation Syndrome (GAS) is rearing its ugly head too often, cutting off grandparents from their treasured grandchildren.

A simple disagreement, misunderstanding, or envy of the grandchild’s love for the grandparent, can set off a complete withdrawal of any time allowed between the grandchild and grandparent.

One cause of GAS can be due to divorce or separation where one custodial parent restricts contact with the ex-spouse and can even turn the child against their other parent by telling lies and speaking negatively of the other parent (Parent Alienation Syndrome PAS). This in turn can cutoff the grandparents.

Another cause may be due to a conflict or disagreement between the daughter/daughter-in-law/ or son/son- in-law with their parents/in-laws resulting in the alienation of the grandparents from the grandchildren. A mere child rearing disagreement, a personal vendetta, a misunderstanding, or merely a personality conflict can result in alienation from the grandparents.

We, the grandparents, feel pure devastation, hopelessness, and bewilderment that our own son or daughter would cut communication, visits, and attendance to family events and milestones. We are aghast at the behavior of our adult children, and we look back at the upbringing we gave our children and wonder where did it all go wrong.

We remember trying to raise our children with love and kindness and sensibility only to have our son or daughter take the side of their spouse in the decision to cut contact. We start to second guess ourselves about the way we raised our children, looking back and reviewing everything we can remember that would justify such behavior when they became adults.

We liken the alienation to a nightmare where our adult children turn against us at the flip of a switch. When we are allowed a visit with the grandchildren, we tip toe around discussions or conversation as we worry we might say the wrong thing and get cut off again.

Our grandchildren are distraught and confused, having spent much time with the grandparent or even having been raised by the grandparent which created a loving bond between the two. The grandchildren are devastated as are the grandparents from this traumatic separation.

Several well-known child psychologists have researched the damage that can be done to a child’s mental well-being concluding that many behavioral and emotional issues can result from the separation. I will get into this topic more in future writings.

Until next time Warriors…

Hugs,

GrammaWarrior