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Many times, over the past years, I have felt lost, confused, and frankly like I don’t fit in. Sure, I am almost sixty years old, a mother and a grandmother, and I come from the era of typewriters, rotary phones, Shirley Temple, and Captain Kangaroo – yet, I believe I have kept up with much of technology, social media, and have even watched a reality show or two.
I can get wild at times, throw a party or two, go camping and ride ATVs, and partake in a few selfies, so I don’t think I’m an old fuddy-duddy. On top of that, I do have manners, and I am respectful. Yet, the behavior and culture in today’s world, with the mass social media, vulgarity, violence, and verbal and physical threats seem to be all too common, and now appears to be standard protocol.
The language alone is astonishing with the F-word used in everyday talk and in every other word of a sentence. “It’s natural, it’s normal. It is just how it is Mom!” It seems there is no shame, no apologies, no consideration for people around you, and I think, “Where did you learn this?”
The F-word, and many other unsavory and descriptive words and comments were never used in our home as we grew up. Even my dad, who could cuss like a drunken sailor, refrained from the F-word around my mom and us kids. I don’t mind it every once in awhile but please, can you look around and see who is among you before you speak.
The entitlement and the “I deserve this and have the right to do what I want” mentality is becoming the norm – So much for civility! We can’t even agree to disagree anymore without derogatory comments, and yes, physical threats. Gory death metal music, violent and sexually descriptive rap music, kill the cops, kill the President, and young children watching “Five Nights at Freddy’s”, is once again becoming the norm, and not the exception.
Addiction, mental illness, self-harm, school shootings, psychotic outbursts, and want, want, want, are now a frequent occurrence. And, to top it off, we have now arrived at this new phenomenon called “ALIENATION”, a.k.a estrangement, which is kind of what got me started on this rant, since we have experienced the trauma of ALIENATION!
What I thought was a “one-off” situation is really a crisis affecting more parents, grandparents, and children than I could have ever imagined. Learning about the many Grandparent Alienation support groups and organizations that now exist was a shock to me. Reading the comments on their websites, from the distraught grandparents, was even more agonizing.
We raised our grandson for his first two years of life, bought his parents a home, supported them in their journey of recovery and parenting, only to have them destroy the home we bought them, and flee our state with kids in tow. We had no idea where they were and felt like we were sucker punched into darkness. Our grandson was bonded to us, loved us, needed us, and cried uncontrollably when he had to return to his parent’s care.
A simple disagreement, misunderstanding, personality conflict, or petty jealousy can cause a parent to cutoff contact of a grandchild from their grandparent. Who cares that the bond is strong, loving, and deep between the grandparent and the grandchild? Who cares that one half of the family tree is cutoff, the lineage is severed, and the family traditions will be forgotten? Who cares that the wisdom and guidance of the older generation is thrown by the wayside?
Who cares that the child experiences traumatic separation emotions, fears, and damage, because the parent has the “right” to do as they please? I say, where are the child’s rights?
I do feel like the freak in society today! Uncensored language and behavior, the degradation of morals and values, the violent and rude discourse, and even worse, the complete cutoff of grandchildren from their loving grandparents is all too common. Yes, I am the Freak because I don’t feel this is normal or acceptable in a society that seems to be normalizing it on a daily basis.
Stay strong Warriors!
GrammaWarrior
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