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When my situation happened in July 2017, I was in a daze, a state of confusion and heartbreak. Our grandson was suddenly taken out of state by his mother and we had no idea where they were or why this happened.
I felt so alone in this situation and I felt I was one of few grandparents who had experienced something like this. I started researching the internet for laws, court cases, or for others who may have experienced this same tragedy. In conjunction, my mom and I were searching for any clues, and talking to friends and family in order to piece together any bits of information we had about where our grandson could have been taken.
I was unfamiliar with the word “alienation” so I searched “grandchildren taken from grandparent”, or “family estrangement” and I was very surprised at what I discovered. I found actual organizations whose mission is to fight against grandparent alienation such as Alienated Grandparents Anonymous (AGA) with chapters in 48 states, and GRAND USA. I learned about the work of these organizations such as lobbying and working to influence the grandparent visitation laws, contacting government representatives on behalf of alienated grandparents, holding rallies, organizing petition drives, and providing resources to their members. There is even an official National Grandparent Alienation Awareness Day on June 14
I joined Facebook support groups for alienated grandparents and joined in with the many other grandparents in sharing our stories, our grief, and our bewilderment. The Facebook groups are closed groups where you must be accepted by the administrator into the group and nothing can be shared outside of the group on Facebook for the protection of its members. I scoured the comments, the unbelievable stories of pain, shock, and confusion at losing contact and visitation with their grandchildren. Each unique and tragic situation sent shivers up my spine as I started to grasp the magnitude of this alienation phenomena and the sheer numbers of grandparents going through it. I realized that I truly was not alone in what happened to us and the stories I was reading were heartbreaking as my own story was. Comments such as these were all too familiar:
“my heart, my mind, my body is literally broken”
“it was never supposed to be like this – so heartbroken”
“it’s breaking my heart that I can’t comfort my grandchild”
“I can’t even put into words the darkness that I feel”
“they are telling my grandchildren that I am a bad person”
“I have no idea what I did and this pain of isolation is killing me”
“why oh why can’t I see them”
“I am so hurt and grieving”
These groups and other measures that I took helped me to survive each day and keep moving forward because heaven knows, I just wanted to crawl into my bed and never get up again.
Keep fighting Warriors and keep praying for there is hope. Meanwhile, feel comfort by joining these groups and organizations.
Lovingly,
GrammaWarrior
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