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As promised in my last post, I wanted to make you aware of the documents and information that our lawyer required of us to prove that we should have the right to see our grandson.
To recap our situation, we raised our grandson from birth until almost 3 years old due to his parents having issues with the Department of Children’s Services in AZ. During his time with us, we developed a deep and loving bond.
Our grandson was transitioned back to his parents after they had completed family court requirements and we continued to support them both financially and emotionally to assure our grandson and his siblings had all that they needed. Unfortunately, our son’s girlfriend had other ideas and made a late night run out of town with the children, and we had no idea where they had gone.
After doing our detective work (in addition to hiring a private investigator), we finally figured out where our grandson had been taken to. I had started to assemble a binder with pictures, documentation, timelines, DCS paperwork, text messages, and anything else that I could think of in preparation for meeting with a lawyer.
The lawyer I contacted was recommended to me, however, I found no comfort from him during my discussions. I gave him the binder upon our first meeting, and he perused it and said, “this is all impressive, but more is needed”. I was told over and over that grandparents really have no rights and that I needed to come up with more “non-biased” documentation to even get this before a judge.
I was confused about what this meant, and he explained to me that I needed to get statements, reports, or documents from people who had no vested interest in this. I, being the grandmother, had a vested interest – I wanted my grandson back or I wanted to be able to see him again, I loved him, and would do anything to find him – I had a personal gain in this search.
Following are examples of the types of people/entities who might not have a vested interest:
– Therapists
– School counselors, teachers, daycare workers
– Law enforcement and/or reports
– DCS or other social service caseworkers
– Clergy
– Neighbors or other witnesses who may have insight into behavior or happenings
– Statements or research from an expert on the psychological impact of traumatic separation from a loved one.
– And even friends, acquaintances, or family of our grandson’s parents who may have believed that it was in the best interest of the child to be with us or see us, and would testify to it.
I ran into a wall trying to get information from the therapists or DCS caseworkers from our previous DCS case. After all, our grandson’s parents had completed their obligations to the State in order to get their children back, so I really didn’t have a leg to stand on (however, these agencies did not know many of the lies and situations that took place which we found out in our later detective work). I just felt hopeless, BUT, in no way would I give up.
Our final petition included: affidavits from me and my husband and other family members; an affidavit from our grandson’s daycare director; an affidavit from a friend of our grandson’s mother; information about the previous DCS case; a statement from a professor and child therapist about traumatic separation; and a listing of police reports, both past and present.
Now, our petition had to be submitted to a judge who would decide if our case had any merit. Our lawyer continually told us that there is a high percentage chance the judge would deny us a hearing. I felt hopeless again and just prayed. Thankfully, the judge deemed our petition worthy of a hearing.
Our petition was served to our son and his girlfriend and the hearing was scheduled. The lawyer requested us to come up with the terms of our agreement. We could have tried for custody/guardianship but the odds were against us and I did not want to put my grandson or his siblings through anymore turmoil – he did have a brother and sisters that he loved.
We put together a visitation schedule that was aggressive, with significant travel and the costs all falling on us. I did not care at this point. I had to let our little boy know that we did not abandon him.
Our son and girlfriend participated in the hearing via phone and we were in attendance in front of the judge. They pretty much agreed to the visitation and requirements we asked for. I believed they were worried about any current police charges in AZ and that they could possibly lose custody of their son if I decided to pursue it.
It has been almost three years since our court hearing, and I have been traveling to the grandson’s state for many visits, in addition to bringing him back to AZ for extended visits to see his family here. Our grandson now knows that grandma and grandpa will always be back and God willing we will never lose him again.
Stay strong Warriors!
Love, GrammaWarrior
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